Moments
by em-red
Summary: Death affects everyone. Liam hadn't really been around death a lot growing up, so when it hits, it hits him. Hard.


_As they lay in bed after a particularly intimate moment, Liam couldn't help himself from tracing small patterns on her bare back with his thumb. Her breathing was so shallow he was almost positive she was unconscious, but when she raised her head from its resting place on his chest, he found himself captivated by her emerald irises._

_"Do you regret anything?" She asked quietly, her gaze never straying from his own. Liam licked his lips, over-analyzing everything she said, as usual._

_"I regret not holding the door open for an old lady today," He responded, trying to lighten the sudden serious air. Scarlet rolled her eyes at his answer, before gradually pulling herself forward, now face-to-face with Liam._

_"I love you," She stated boldly, before pressing her lips softly against his own. He didn't hesitate from tangling his hand in her post-sex hair, and kissing her back firmly._

_"I love you too, Scar." He whispered after they pulled away. Seemingly satisfied, Scarlet placed a swift kiss just below his ear, before using his shoulder as a pillow and drifting to sleep._

Liam shut the door behind him softly, using one hand to tug at his tie, not liking the tight material around his neck. He slipped out of his jacket, leaving it carelessly on the floor. He had spent the better part of the day being hugged by people he didn't really know, and having the guys breathing down his neck, expecting him to pull a gun from his pocket and just end the torture already.

As he slowly undid the buttons to his dress shirt he came to stop in front of an older picture of him and Scarlet. Under all the happiness you wouldn't have been able to tell that she really had a deadly disease eating at her slowly deteriorating organs.

Cancer.

Is was a silent killer. Liam now knew first hand exactly how undetectable it was. One day he and Scarlet had been roaming downtown London, and the next she was coughing up blood all over their white sheets.

Of course, with a quick glance to the bed, Liam noticed someone had been nice enough to replace the soiled linens.

With a flick of his wrist, the room was cast into sudden darkness as he turned the light off. Liam lowered himself into the mattress, greeted with the familiar squeak Scarlet had always loved. As he laid down, his gaze was forced upward to another memoir of his deceased girlfriend.

_"Scar?" Liam called into the flat, knowing he was late. Harry had some new lyric ideas just as the guys were leaving, and they ended up messing around with a guitar and piano, trying to find a melody to go along with the words._

_Liam glanced in the kitchen, mentally noting that he would need to do the dishes soon, a pile was starting to form. As he pushed open the door to the bedroom, he was greeted with a pitch black room._

_"Scar?" He tried again, reaching a hand out and blindly flicking the light switch, blinking as his vision returned._

_"NO! Turn it back off!" Scarlet demanded, exiting the adjoining bathroom in a pair of overalls, black smudges covering her from head to toe._

_"What's that smell?" Liam asked as he followed her instructions, ceasing the only source of light in the room._

_"I did a bit of decorating..." Scarlet's voice appeared directly in front of him, and he felt her intertwine her tiny fingers with his own._

_"Is that paint? Scar I don't think it's safe to inhale the fumes of fresh paint for too long," Liam warned, concern lacing his voice as she guided him through the room. As the backs of his knees hit the mattress, he felt her give him a slight push._

_"I was waiting for you to come home tonight, so I sat on the balcony for a bit. And you know what I noticed?" She asked, her head resting on the pillow beside his own as they both stared up._

_"That we've been dating long enough that you no longer need to act sane around me anymore?" Liam replied playfully as his gaze was met with a completely black ceiling, illuminated by multiple glow-in-the-dark stars. Liam knew Scarlet was an artist, but the view was almost so lifelike that he was left speechless._

_"Close, but no. There were no stars. All the bright lights of the city must have scared them away, so I decided to bring the stars to us." She stated proudly, pulling Liam's Blackberry from his pocket and snapping a picture of the scene._

Now Liam felt stupid laying in the bed and staring at fake stars. His arm fell onto the empty spot beside him, and all he longed for was Scarlet's tiny body curled up beside him. He grabbed her pillow and pressed it against his face, trying desperately to stop the airflow to his lungs.

Her intoxicating scent of strawberries and vanilla filled his nose, and it broke down the wall Liam had spent the past couple days building, in a matter of a few seconds.

Tears clouded his vision as sobs ripped through his body viciously. He thrashed around wildly, forcefully throwing the pillow as far away from him as possible, ignoring the sound of it hitting the vanity.

Liam swallowed back another sob, somehow pushing himself into a sitting position. Stumbling from his bed to the sitting room, he unlocked and pulled the door to the balcony open. The cold wind ripped at his unbuttoned shirt and dress pants, instantly freezing the tears that streamed down his face.

He walked to the railing, before lifting himself up and over it, standing carefully on the thin ledge. His toes curled over the tiny piece of cement, as he slowly leaned forward. He glanced down from the 30-story flat, having to squint to make out the shapes of people on the sidewalk below.

It wasn't long before people started pointing at him and yelling to others, but Liam simply ignored them.

As he loosened his grip on the railing, blurs of images started reeling through his mind. From the first day of school, his first kiss, to the X Factor auditions, to the first time he met Scarlet, to winning a BRIT, every major event in his life flashed before him in seconds.

_"I'm scared Li," Scarlet whimpered as the guy came around, double-checking their seat belts, before wishing them a fun ride. Scarlet's hand gripped Liam's tightly, almost restricting blood flow. The ride climbed up the first hill slowly, groaning and clinking as it dragged the weight of all it's passengers._

_"Scarlet, open your eyes right now or else I am forcing you on this again." Liam commanded, watching as she reluctantly squinted her eyes open, before staring at the view intently._

_"It's beautiful," She whispered as they looked at the park from this high up. Liam leaned over and kissed her firmly, never wanting to forget this moment._

_"Oh hey, I think I see Zayn!" Harry yelled from behind them, as he and Louis started waving at the boy with the quiff, recognizable from even this height. Miniature Zayn waved back at them, not being one for rides, and they all shared a laugh, just as the ride hit the top of the hill, slowly tilting into the decline._

_"HOLY MOTHERFUCKING GOD! I HATE YOU ALL!" Scarlet screamed as the last of the train made it over the bump and gravity pulled them downward at an insane speed. Liam, Niall, Louis and Harry all screamed happily, where as Scarlet seemed to be practicing her horror movie screech._

_When the ride finally pulled into a stop at the unloading dock each guy had an identical grin glued into their face. The rush of adrenaline flowing through their veins was only comparable to post-sex endorphins, or a particularly amazing concert._

_"How was the ride?" Zayn asked as they exited the gate, following the signs toward the in-ride photo booth. As they waited in line the guys attempted fixing their wind-blown hair, where as Scarlet just remained quiet, a stoney expression on her face._

_"I'm pretty sure I shit myself." She finally spoke, a deadly serious look on her face, making everyone burst out laughing._

Liam could feel his toes going numb, and knew he would need to make a decision soon before he ended up falling from the ledge on accident.

Scarlet's smile filled his mind, and he knew right then that there was only one solution. As he removed his hands from the railing altogether, he felt his weight shift dramatically, leaning forward unstably. As he shut his eyes one more time, he leaned forward that extra bit, feeling his center of balance being thrown.

As he teetered precariously on the edge and as he let his body go limp he felt a strong hand grip his shirt, pulling his shoulders back roughly. As the unbuttoned shirt slipped from his shoulders another hand found its way to the top of his dress pants, and pulled his limp body safely behind the railing.

His body was numb as he was dragged into the living room and the sliding door was slammed shut and locked.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Zayn yelled at Liam, only wearing a pair of plaid pajama pants. Liam just stated at his friend, feeling completely emotionless. The door open as tears fell shamelessly down Zayn's cheeks.

"It's all over the news already. No ones knows its him yet though. The police want to come up but Louis is stalling them." Harry muttered, wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, his hair wild from sleep. Niall walked in behind him, just staring at Liam with conflicted eyes.

"Mate, I know you're gutted over Scarlet, but you don't attempt to kill yourself. We'll help you through this. Just let us in." He begged, his Irish accent was even deeper from being unconscious moments ago.

"I got them to believe it was a prank, don't ask how, I just did. Everyone owes me a two hundred quid though, they weren't cheap cops." Louis announced, breaking the awkward silence that had filled the room. He was acting fairly normal, but the deep purple bruises under his eyes reflected how much Scarlet's death was affecting him.

"Don't talk about it if you don't want to. Do what you do best, Liam. Sing it. Write down what you're feeling, and see what happens." Harry encouraged, offering him a hand pulling him from the floor.

"Thanks." Liam replied briskly, before turning his back on his friends and taking refuge in his bedroom. He laid on the bed and stared at the stars once again, feeling completely empty.

As he drifted into a restless sleep, he could have sworn he felt a familiar body curl up against him, snuggling against his chest in a way that he'd grown used to.


End file.
